Who am I and why am I writing another “self help” blog? I have always had a fascination with human potential. After many years of study, teaching self empowerment seminars, writing articles,publishing books (Are You Stuck? (is life passing you by), Getting Unstuck & Dare To Date), producing a quarterly newsletter and providing counseling for those who are serious about changing their lives, I want to share online what I’ve learned. I want to make you aware of your vast untapped potential and the many exciting choices that are available to you.
My mantra that I teach, chant and preach in all my classes is that everyone has unrealized potential (experts estimate that the average person only realizes about 5% of his potential) and we are all capable of leading much happier and much more fulfilling lives. I want you to understand the real reasons you feel stuck and provide you some tools, understanding and support to begin to really enjoy life. As Auntie Mame said “Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death”.
We have been conditioned to believe that the route to happiness and contentment is the accumulation of money, wealth and material things. If that were the case, then all wealthy people would be happy and all kids would be depressed. That doesn’t seem to be the case. I have counseled many people who were extremely wealthy and also extremely depressed. My experience has been that the best route to happiness, fulfillment and serenity is through personal growth. The people that I encounter who are the happiest are those that are constantly growing and realizing their potential. Your potential should not be limited by some arbitrary narrow definition of success (e.g. achieving financial goals, driving a BMW and living in the “right” neighborhood). It’s much much more. It means having work that you love, taking care of yourself emotionally and physically and having wonderful relationships in which you can give and receive love. It means having a purposeful existence and a reason to get up every morning.
I equate realizing one’s potential with success. And as with all forms of success, you have to ask your yourself if you are willing to pay the necessary price. Focus is required and focus often required healthy boundaries and the ability to say no. And the price you might pay be saying no is being disliked or seen as selfish. You cannot allow your focus to be undermined by other people’s disapproval and opinion of you. Highly successful people are not liked by all.
My blogs will be a collection of highly personal and hopefully insightful essays and observations that will enable me to share with you what I have learned. Some are short and some are long. There will be no formulaic approach used in my writing. I try to say what I feel needs to be said; no more or no less. This isn’t a how-to-blog, although it contains many specific strategies and techniques to improve your life. This is a blog that addresses the real issues in life: your perception of yourself and how to change it in a positive way, your awareness of reality and learning to understand what is really happening and grasping the real reasons you are stuck in a life or existence that isn’t working for you.
You are bombarded daily with opportunities to improve your life. However, if you lack the awareness to recognize opportunities or don’t possess the courage to pursue them, you will remain stuck. If you are devoid of self confidence, blocked by fear, suffer from excessive worry or lack good risk taking skills life will be perceived as a somewhat hopeless and cruel struggle. As Pogo said “ We have met the enemy and he is us”.
We sometimes mislabel opportunity as being serendipitous and attribute it to luck. Opportunity is constantly knocking at our door. It’s never lack of opportunity; it’s having the awareness to see it. Action creates change and change creates new circumstances and new circumstances provide new possibilities and perhaps opportunities. You go to a party and know no one. So no opportunities are readily apparent but if you are proactive and methodically introduce yourself and make small talk with everyone in the room, you might connect with someone (how “lucky” was that) that can add to your life. If you are shy and introverted this might require courage. Many people might think and say how fortunate you were to meet the person in question. I would say if you knock on enough doors one of them is bound to open. You need to have awareness about the power of networking and how sometimes (many times) good things happen when, with no agenda or expectation, you strike up a conversation with a stranger. This might be considered new behavior and is a habit worth mastering.
When you begin to identify, acknowledge and deal with the real issues, life becomes grander and a joy to live. A good analogy is going from watching a show on an old black and white 12” TV set to viewing the same show on a 24” colored TV. You will never be satisfied with your old TV set. Personal growth will impact your life and give you insights that will never allow you to be comfortable with being stuck and living a stale, stagnant life.
I wish you the best. I am rooting for you and want to help you realize your potential in every facet of your existence.